IEP thoughts

After doing my ADHD post I received such a positive response. I thought I would go ahead and post this. Today was my son's IEP (individual education program) meeting. My oldest has had one of these IEP's since preschool. He is now in 6th grade and 11 years old. He will be transitioning to middle school next year. When a school system (district) decides that a child needs services a evaluation is conducted and IEP is drafted up. The IEP has specific goals that are written in it as well as who will provide the services to reach that goal. It is a contract of sorts. Today I will go again and advocate for my son. When I stared the evaluation process for my son, he was 4 years old. Many times I felt in the dark about the process. At that 1st IEP meeting there were no less than 10 people present and the first meeting resulted in denial of services. I had no idea on what I was walking into nor how to advocate for my son. I felt completely defeated, mislead, and alone in my concern about my son. I have learned a few things after 9 or so IEP meetings, I always cry. I can't help myself. It is really hard to hear negative things about my son. These things always make me feel like I have failed. I know that isn't true but deep down I feel that. Secondly, talk is cheap. We can all talk about my son but show me by your actions what you are doing for my son. Lets talk about what we can do not what isn't possible. Thirdly, I am there for my son not the school district, therapist, or teacher. I am not there to make things easier by not making you do the job that you are tasked to do. I really don't care where the funding comes from or how many kids you have to service. I am there to ensure that my son receives services or a free and appropriate education (FAE) Fourth, the ideal school setting for me is not the ideal school setting for my son. How I was educated is vastly different from how they do it now a days and what worked for me is probably not going to work for my son. I have to leave my feelings about my education outside that meeting. Fifth, the parent is part of the team. Parents are allowed to make suggestions and request that certain things be removed from the record. The parent is the only person in that meeting that is an expert on that child. I did in fact have something not included in my son's very first evaluation because I believed the evaluator inserted her personal prejudice into her report. I frequently ask them to reword or include certain things. I won't sign an IEP that I don't agree with or is not factually accurate. Lastly, keeping a binder will all the important evaluations/old IEP's is extremely helpful when questions arise at the meeting. This binder has my child's picture on the front because when I started going to these meetings he wasn't present. I want everyone to know and see who we are talking about. Many times some of the people present will not have met the child. I have yet to meet a school psychologist in my son's current district that has actually met him (a whole different post)I want them to remember who they are deciding for. I believe my experience with IEP process is average. I have had been at IEP's that have been adversarial and IEP's where my son was granted services that I didn't expect him to receive. Today was a good day and a good IEP meeting.